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Do you compost or buy second hand? 
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Local shares fell on Friday as investors make last-minute adjustments to their portfolios ahead of the main index’s rebalancing, while unease over rising infections grows. 
Moments of light relief have been hard to come by this year, but the annual ranking of topical British Christmas-cracker jokes provides some, with the top spot taken by one that has a punchline featuring a Chris Rea song and Boris Johnsons former adviser Dominic Cummings.
The TV channel Golds eighth annual ranking, which is chosen by a panel chaired by the comedy critic Bruce Dessau, was put to 2,000 UK voters, who chose What is Dominic Cummingss favourite Christmas song? Driving Home for Christmas as the best cracker joke this year.
Other entries riff on more Covid-related themes, with punchlines ranging from quips about pirates and the R number to festive groaners about reindeer and herd immunity.
1What is Dominic Cummingss favourite Christmas song? Driving Home for Christmas.
2Did you hear that production was down at Santas workshop? Many of his workers have had to elf isolate!
3Why didnt Mary and Joseph make it to Bethlehem? All Virgin flights were cancelled.
4Why are Santas reindeer allowed to travel on Christmas Eve? They have herd immunity.
5Why did the pirates have to go into lockdown? Because the Arrrr! rate had risen.
6Why is it best to think of 2020 like a panto? Because, eventually, its behind you.
7 Why couldnt Mary and Joseph join their work conference call? Because there was no Zoom at the inn.
8Why cant Boris Johnson make his Christmas cake until the last minute? He doesnt know how many tiers it should have.
9What do the Trumps do for Christmas dinner? They put on a super spread.
10 Which Christmas film was 30 years ahead of its time? Home Alone. Guardian
